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3 Uncomfortable Truths About Power in Relationships
Including yours.
Power in relationships is generally defined as the capacity to direct or influence the behavior of another in a particular way. Power is not just limited to domination and submission. A truly complex element of power in relationships is the respective ability of each person to influence the other and direct the relationship.
Although power is never completely equal in any relationship, in intimate ones we try (or should try) to share power equally and create a symbiotic balance within the pair. But there are three noteworthy imbalances where things go haywire. In Empowered Love, Dr. Steven Stosny discusses the types of relationship dynamics that can result from negative power imbalances within the relationship that include demand/withdrawal, distancer/pursuer, and fear/shame.
The thing is, at some point or another, we all experience these phases of negative imbalance. It’s whether we resolve them or not that is essential to our survival as couples. Do we navigate the shark-infested waters of relationship imbalance safely, in a healthy way, or do we get eaten by the sharks, where one person enjoys having power and never resolves the imbalance, wreaking havoc and ultimately leads to the relationship’s demise or the misery of the other person?
