Catching Flies With Honey

Susan Kelley
5 min readApr 3, 2024

Are We Forgetting Our Manners?

Photo courtesy of Nick Page on Unsplash.

I ask Alexa and Siri to do lots of things for me. I gather information, write schedules, build shopping lists, and change the temperature in my home all by asking my tech assistant to do these things for me.

I do not, though, say “please” or “thank you” when my little robot complies and the tasks are handled with ease.

My kids, all in their twenties, use virtual assistants for everything from directions to a restaurant to finding a parking space. My youngest, still in college, pulls up information for assignments like it’s second nature. “Alexa, how many feet are in a yard?” “Hey Siri, what is the circumference of the earth?” All without a second thought.

I love that all of this information is at our fingertips or, more accurately, at our voice command, but then I also realize I asked similar questions but I asked them of a teacher, a parent, or a librarian and followed the responses with a teensy bit of courtesy. A simple, “Thanks.” Or, I prefaced the questions with a nicety, too. “Could you please help me find…”

What is the difference for my kids between asking, “Would you help me figure out the circumference of the earth?” and “Hey Siri, what’s the circumference of the earth?”

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Susan Kelley

Susan is a runner, a mom of 3 grown children, and an avid traveler. She writes about humans, and wrote a book about false accusations of sexual assault.