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Dating With Sharks
All Too Often, the Water Isn’t Safe.
The TL;DR of this is simple: “Men, do better.”
The “behavior bar” is set pretty low, fellas, and yet some of you still haven’t mastered it.
I’m solidly in middle age, and thus have had a fair bit of dating experience. Back when I was a young twentysomething, I was accustomed to guys who thought a date was “hanging out,” by which I mean maybe — maybe — grabbing a slice of pizza and a beer and just…doing whatever. No plan, no thought, and surely no concern about the enjoyment of the experience. The end goal was either sex or another date (which would, if he calculated correctly, lead to sex). Simple as that.
I then spent too many years married, but happily raising a family. I didn’t pay attention to the datelessness of my relationship because, well, I came home to the same guy every night. A date with any planning was either my doing or a seriously special occasion.
Over time, I had become accustomed to less-than-stellar relationship treatment. My expectations were pretty low. Not just in the glamor, or lack of glamor, in dates, but in general how it feels to be sufficiently respected for my choices, preferences, and interests.
It should be noted that the aforementioned dating experiences were in the 90’s and early 2000’s, so it wasn’t like you…
