Every Home Improvement Job Is a Major Victory

That’s What it Feels Like When You’ve Been in a Financially Manipulative Trap for Years

Photo by henry perks on Unsplash

I love my house.

I say that to my kids probably once a week or more. They might be tired of hearing it, but they never let on. Bless their amazing, mom-loving hearts.

I bought my first house — that is, my first house all by my very own self, without a partner — in 2020. At the nerve-wracking height of the pandemic, when everything seemed to be shifting under my feet, I slapped down my money and held tight to the conviction that I would be okay. That everything would be okay. The market was good, and I had worked very, very hard to save up and make a place for myself here in my new city after two decades of emotional and financial manipulation by my ex husband, and then nearly five years of total gaslighting and it was time to plant my own flag.

Our home in Pittsburgh had still not sold.

At first, three years prior, I was hoping for a net profit of maybe $20-$30k when that home sold, helping to solidify my financial stability and land me a good home. But the attempts to sell the house languished; my ex had refused to make what he called any “capital improvements,” which were really any repairs of any kind, including keeping the furnace running and repairing a leak in the…