Ghosting is for Losers

Susan Kelley
3 min readOct 1, 2020

If You’ve Been Doing it, Cut it Out

Photo by Jonah Pettrich on Unsplash

You’re dating.

You’re trying to date.

Tinder. Bumble. Hinge. Match. Whatever.

You chat with someone, you go to all the trouble of finally meeting up — maybe it takes a few tries, maybe not. Maybe you are one of those “go for it” people who dives right in and schedules a date right away, or maybe you are someone who texts fifty or sixty times before you stick the landing.

Doesn’t matter. The point is, you got together but…meh.

You go on a date, and it just doesn’t have chemistry.

So you never text again.

You go on two dates, but the second one just didn’t have you flaming, you thought maybe it would, but there was no spark, and since Covid is a thing, no one hops into bed at the end of date 1 like we did just a year ago, so you have to try out more than one date now if there is even a little, teeny flame because, hey, investment, amirite?

But, nope — nothing. So, no follow up. Just…dead air.

Or, no dates or anything, but a Zoom call. A nice, leisurely chat across the air and video waves, and there’s maybe cuteness and a few laughs, a nice signoff and a nod to doing that again or seeing each other in person, but…yeah, nope. Radio silence.

Cut it out.

Just…cut it out.

All of us, everyone everywhere. We are better people than this. Aren’t we? See, I remember when we tried dating in high school. In college. When we were real people, with real faces and real feelings, and real everything. We had to see each other in class or on campus. Or, god forbid at work. We had to actually say out loud, “You are nice and all, but we should probably see other people.” We had to swallow hard and speak, “I’m just not that into you.”

It. Can. Be. Done.

So do it. I say this for myself as much as anyone else because yes, I, too, have been inclined to hide behind the desire to just not text back because yes, it’s easy. It’s comfortable to think I have somehow not hurt that guy’s feelings by just not ever texting him again. But we’ve all been on the receiving end of that, haven’t we?

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Susan Kelley

Susan is a runner, a mom of 3 grown children, and an avid traveler. She writes about humans, and wrote a book about false accusations of sexual assault.