How Much Can We Hate?

And For How Much Longer?

Photo by Crawford Jolly on Unsplash

The musical theatre pair Rogers and Hammerstein said it plain: “You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught.” We are not born to hate; we learn it. And some learn it quite well, too well, violently well.

But why? And how much? How deeply?

We learn to hate deeply enough that some people maim and murder in the name of their hate. We’ve named their acts: hate crimes. It’s a recent enough term, but it finally labels something so heinous as to be different from a crime of passion or a crime of greed. It is a crime motivated by evil. By spite.

Dictionary definitions don’t do enough to elevate the word, simply calling hate “an intense dislike.” We know it to be more.

Pride Month seems to bring out more vitriol and anger than any other time of year, even more than Black History Month, although we know our nation bears deep, irreparable scars of hatred towards people of color. I cannot begin to even write about the abyss that divides our experiences in race, but I try to learn my own path through those spaces — to be a better, less racist, even anti-racist person.

But what brings me to write today is that it IS Pride Month, and I’ve been an ally since before it was cool to be one, then I turned out to be the mom of a bi-child who is a fabulous advocate and teacher. I’m…