I think the phrase "were delighted at how unhappy it made him" is pretty far off base.

I was indeed finally relieved of the weight of years and years of having covered for his utter lack of having done any of the labor - emotional, financial, or literal - to celebrate the holiday. It was satisfying, yes, to show him, and our nearly grown children, the truth that he wasn't sharing in any of the responsibility for the day.

Interestingly enough - this year he got the kids absolutely nothing for Christmas. Nothing at all. not even a card or phone call.

Each year of the six we've been apart, since our kids have still been young adults without a substantial income, I've paid for the gifts they buy for the adults in their lives - including one for him.

Ironic, isn't it?