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It’s the Respect, Stupid.

Susan Kelley
3 min readSep 6, 2022

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The Alarming Element of Successful Relationships

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Perhaps Walter Winchell’s message about relationships is the most vital we might ever hear:

Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.

That’s it. It’s that simple. A person you are in a relationship with, at pretty much any depth, should be always beside you.

I read this, and re-read it, and pondered it for a bit before I could really understand and embrace it. This whole idea of “beside you” was one I thought was a lofty sweet fantasy held by young new couples embarking on a life together that they imagine will be filled with bliss and puppies and rainbows and children who never get messy. Those people.

Realistically, I thought, this just doesn’t happen. Right? Someone is in charge, someone is the leader while someone else follows. Someone is smarter or more ambitious. Someone is more creative. Someone is less reliable. Someone is more selfish.

I just didn’t get it.

Until now.

I spent a lot of relationships and a lot of wasted time banking on the idea that there couldn’t be equality in a relationship. In some ways, I was right. No two people are ever equal, because those two people are very different. Different talents, different interests, different priorities.

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Susan Kelley
Susan Kelley

Written by Susan Kelley

Susan is a runner, a mom of 3 grown children, and an avid traveler. She writes about humans, and wrote a book about false accusations of sexual assault.

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