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Women: Stop Raising Men
If Their Mothers Didn’t Do It, Why Are We?
Christmas Eve, the first year after our divorce.
My ex-husband showed up at his enormous family’s annual party, the “Feast of the Seven Fishes,” the gathering of traditional Italian-American families everywhere, and where his own family does a gift exchange. In his family, they draw names somewhere around Thanksgiving, pairing up adults with adults, and kids with kids, evenly matching givers and recipients. Additionally, the godparents give a gift to their godchildren, and godchildren to their godparents. His family is so large that he has 4 godchildren. Throughout our 20-year marriage, I did all of the holiday shopping for this event, securing gifts to all of the participants he needed to cover.
This year, when he didn’t have me to do the shopping for him, he only remembered to get something for his designated adult. He left our kids to shop on their own for theirs (which meant I did it with them), and he totally forgot his godchildren, made some excuse, and offered to send them a gift card in the mail after the holidays.
I’ve come to realize that he is far from alone in this behavior. It’s not him. It’s tons of men across all ages, ethnicities, and financial backgrounds.
Women are raising their men.
