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Your Parents’ Love Life Marks Yours

Susan Kelley
4 min readMar 2, 2022

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For Better or Worse, But Not Necessarily ’til Death Do You Part

Photo by Gus Moretta on Unsplash

Did your parents have a great relationship? A difficult one? A long-lasting one? Many, revolving-door ones? Short-term ones?

If your parents had difficult relationships they can hurt yours, too. Don’t minimize the impact their love history can have on yours.

If your parents had a loving, faithful, caring relationship for your whole life, that’s great. They provided you with an excellent model. That’s amazing. It’s also no guarantee that you’ll do the same, but it’s a great start.

On the other hand, research shows that if your parents had a less-than stellar relationship or relationships, yours is likely to follow a similar path. When our parents don’t maintain stable relationships, we follow the same types of formulas they did.

Modeling

It’s fairly common that kids look to the adults in their lives as the standard for what relationships are, or can be. Some of the information we have about divorce can be really shocking. Some research shows that adults whose parents had difficult relationships tend to be less caring in their own relationships, drawing away from offering affection and intimacy. They are less likely to offer words of affirmation and support, which can lead to difficulty in…

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Susan Kelley
Susan Kelley

Written by Susan Kelley

Susan is a runner, a mom of 3 grown children, and an avid traveler. She writes about humans, and wrote a book about false accusations of sexual assault.

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