If Their Mothers Didn’t Do It, Why Are We?

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Christmas Eve, the first year after our divorce.

My ex-husband showed up at his enormous family’s annual party, the “Feast of the Seven Fishes,” the gathering of traditional Italian-American families everywhere, and where his own family does a gift exchange. In his family, they draw names somewhere around Thanksgiving, pairing up adults with adults, and kids with kids, evenly matching givers and recipients. Additionally, the godparents give a gift to their godchildren, and godchildren to their godparents. His family is so large that he has 4 godchildren. …


How I’m Spending My 50’s — And My Dollars

Photo by Alex Alvarez on Unsplash

I spent — or misspent — a lot of my twenties, and a fair portion of my thirties — not managing my money very well. I didn’t have my education yet, and that made a big difference, but so did my overall attitude about money. I thought I had time, that life was to be enjoyed in the little things, and that my financial focus should be on my kids. I wouldn’t change my position on that last part, but the rest of it? …


Success Means Loosening Your Grip

Photo by elnaz asadi on Unsplash

“Bad leaders believe that they have to project control at all times.”- Simon Sinek

I’ve worked for a few different organizations, in a few different capacities. I’ve been a single contributor, and I’ve been a manager. In each role, of course, I’ve seen different leadership styles and tried to learn from them.

I’ve read Lean In; I’ve read Good to Great, and a few others. I know the drill.

I have boiled it down to one granular takeaway.

Great leaders let go.

There, I said it. The managers, supervisors, and principals with whom I have…


I Wrote About Men, and It Pissed Them Off

Photo by Linas Drulia on Unsplash

I recently wrote a piece about the high number of what are typically called “deadbeat dads,” and referred to them in the framework of not just men who don’t pay child support, but those who tend to opt-out after divorce. …


My Teetotalling Ways and No, I’m Not an Alcoholic

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Ahhh…a martini. I used to simply love a chilled green apple martini. Simple in its elegance. Charming in its tart-sweet refreshing tang. I can practically taste it now.

Except I can’t.

Sigh.

A few years ago, I started taking a medication for migraine that conflicts with alcohol and whaddayaknow — no more for me.

I used to enjoy a smooth Merlot with a nice steak or a chilled Chablis on a warm summer evening. But, alas, I have joined the ranks of folks known as teetotalers.

The word, Teetotaler, came from


It Might With Too Many Divorced Women

Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

Millions of us are glued, tuned in to Dirty John Season 2: The Betty Broderick Story. I vaguely remembered the case from when I was a teenager, in high school. It was a woman scorned, who murdered her ex-husband after a nasty divorce case in California. The name, Betty Broderick, hung on the news as scandalous. It was equated with anger, psychosis, and jealousy.

But now, after watching the show, and seeing the manipulative game played by a savvy Dan Broderick (played by Christian Slater), it is all too easy to see what…


Will Imposter Syndrome Ever Fade?

Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

I waited weeks and weeks for my acceptance letter to grad school. I was so sure I wouldn’t get in to the elite school I had chosen, that finally I mailed in my application to a far less prestigious, smaller local college graduate program. That very same day, my acceptance arrived in the mail. I still thought it was probably a mistake.

Throughout my semesters of my master’s program, I thought surely everyone there was more equipped than I was, and that I’d somehow slipped through the cracks.

When I was offered a great job…


But It Shouldn’t Be, And We Need to Change the Narrative

Photo by Donald Teel on Unsplash

I’m about to talk some real-real about deadbeat dads. And I don’t mean just the ones that skip town on their child support payments. I don’t mean the ones that single moms have to take to court and who dodge getting respectable jobs just to avoid handing over a few bucks every month. Nah…those are too easy, too much of a cliche to be bothered with.

Good old Webster’s defines “deadbeat” as: “an idle, feckless, or disreputable person.” Those are the ones I’m talking about, and they might be…


Is That Middle-Aged Women Are Awesome

Photo by Taisiia Shestopal on Unsplash

Fun Fact: I was looking for a photo to accompany this essay. I searched “sexy.” I got dozens of dewy-lipped twentysomething women. Ugh. I searched “sexy middle-age.” I got: guys.

What the fresh hell?

Moving on.

Antonia Hall, author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life is here to remind us that among the many joys of getting older is that we are no longer quite so hung up on being dewy-lipped, having the ultimate body for photoshopping. At least not most of us. Not only that, there is a whole huge sexual…


From Someone Who Hangs On

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

I’ve never been very good at letting go of things.

Well, things, yes, but emotions? No, not so much. I’ve always been okay with not holding on to actual, physical stuff, but my feelings are another element entirely. Even as I have embraced Marie Kondo in the tangible, I’ve harbored longtime clutching to some unhealthy mindsets.

So I decided to take the Swedish Art of Death Cleaning to my mental state of being.

Here are the things I have decided to release:

Perfection.

Many times in my life, I have chastised myself when I fall short…

Susan Kelley

Susan is a runner, a mom of 3 grown children, and an avid traveler. She writes about humans, and wrote a book about false accusations of sexual assault.

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